There’s a great article in the new (with my girl Rachael Ray smiling on the cover). The author, Hagar Scher, opens up an ugly can of worms – complaining and negativity.
You know the type – the person who complains about everything and puts a negative twist on every situation. She didn’t like this movie, she doesn’t like that restaurant, she just can’t staaaand the sight of meat, she doesn’t like him because he’s ugly, she doesn’t like her because she’s fat, and on and on and on. You have to even wonder if they feel the sunshine when they’re outdoors. If they did, they’d complain about that, too. It’d either be too warm or not warm enough.
When I meet someone like that I always want to ask them, “Why do you bother getting up in the morning? Seems nothing ever comes from it.”
But that’d make me rude. And it’d make me fodder. I’d be rude fodder. No thanks.
Personally I think some people are just bent toward negativity. Ever see a Sunflower? They’re one of my favorite flowers because of their beauty, and I also love their outlook. They turn and face the sun; that’s the direction they want to be facing – the bright side. Some people are the exact opposite. They’ll contort their bodies just to face the dark side. If they feel a little sunlight hitting their life, they’ll twist around and find the view they’re the most comfortable.
Personally, I think people tend to start doing that bend during a low point in their lives – then it becomes habit. Then a way of life. Then it owns them. They would literally have to fight against the tide to break this cycle. But it’d be SO worth it! Can you imagine walking in shoes that only took you through the worst, most depressing corners of the world?
The article actually includes a “diary” of a woman who was bent in such a direction. She realized that she needed to change when she told her daughter that she’d read a book she didn’t like. The daughter said, “Mom, are there any books you like?”
So, “mom” started paying more attention to the things that came out of her mouth – the negative to positive ratio shocked her. She never realized just how many negative observations she tended to make.
She began silencing the unnecessary complaining (I say unnecessary, because there are OF COURSE times when complaining is necessary and right). She was very excited with the change. By day 7, she wrote:
The experiment forced me to take an extra moment to consider what I wanted to say; that’s something I plan to keep up. Positive words come to me more naturally now, and I like knowing that I can shift conversation to more tranquil channels. I can’t say I’ve turned into Mommy Sunshine. I haven’t brough about world peace either. But I like knowing that in my own way, I’m nudging things in the right direction.
She switched off her negative energy and switched on her posititve energy….what a life transformation! And I’m glad she didn’t become a Stepfordish Mommy Sunshine. Real people should have real emotions – positive and negative. We should just never allow one to reign supreme – either way. After all, someone’s who’s always negative is a drag to be around, but a human sunflower would send me running for shears.
Make each moment count double,